Blue

"Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it"

Without swooping into melancholy self-analysis, which I am prone to do, the statement above pretty much sums up how I have felt over the last few weeks.

I have tried doing all the things I can generally rely on to snap me out of it; exercise, reading, looking at pictures of sheep who love elephants, spending hours shopping and necking a lot of booze (thus ending my month off alcohol pre-holiday). Even her arrival hasn't helped as much as anticipated.

None of these have worked, and I have simply succeeded in pushing a lot of people away and getting wound up by those I love the most. But then they are the ones I turn to for help, and with that choice to reach out to people you are suddenly expecting them to know just how to react.

Anyway, I am still trying to pull myself out from this dark cloud of mine. Today the plan includes:

Amusing myself with the battle between Perez Hilton and Will.I.Am on Twitter. Allegedly, (and I use that word for I am a blogger who operates within the law despite my personal distractions) Perez was attacked by Will.I.Am and his "crew" in Canada. Perez decided to take to Twitter to seek protection, and then followed a stream of panicked messages along the line of "get police" "i am scared" "this is where i am, help me". Will.I.Am has now set up his own Twitter account, posted a video denying the accusations and the battle wages on. Gosh...

Seeing my gorgeous friend Katy, eating vegetarian loveliness from Food for Thought and making some plans.

Sorting out the overflowing cupboards in my bedroom including ebaying a load of clothes and finding a nifty storage solution for both my pyjamas and (excess of) "casual wear" - I think this might be known as sweats in the States. Admittedly this will be neither enjoyable or relaxing but I hope the end result will satiate my inner Martha Stewart.