Saturday, 10 October 2009

Good Morning

At this moment I am lying in the bed you see above. The builders began their work on the scaffolding outside my window at 8am this morning, ensuring I didn't get the much needed Saturday morning lie in I had been longing for.

This has been yet another odd week. My itchy feet are pushing me to make plans to go away and shake things up. But my love of security and fear of change (there, I said it) are keeping me from committing to anything.

All this is not helped by an almost entirely new team at work who are making me feel wizened and cynical; as if I don't really have a place there. I feel a bit like I'm being made to question why I'm staying. I know the answer, there is a huge amount of potential for change and it would be a complete waste of the last two years to leave at this point. But I know I am right when I see them wishing for an entirely new slate. It's an odd feeling to go from the person bursting with fresh ideas and grand plans to change the world to feeling like you're not being listened to and as if new and different is better than experience and insight. Surely both are good?

Must snap out of this indulgent mood for my weekend. I am going to pop down to the Cabbages and Frocks in Marylebone with Jo, have an exciting party to go to on a barge boat on the canal tonight (Can I wear high heels?) and tomorrow am going to try and watch my friend run the Royal Parks (if I can drag myself away from the only chance of a lie in this week - no building work on Sunday).

Now for coffee...and a strong word with myself.

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